THE PARADOX OF SELF AND NO-SELF:

EMBRACING THE MYSTERY OF AWAKENING

One of the most profound and perplexing paradoxes that arises on the spiritual path is the relationship between self and no-self. In spiritual circles, it is often believed that the goal of awakening is to transcend the self, to dissolve the ego entirely, and to merge with the formless void of pure consciousness. This image of liberation is seductive, but it is also misleading. For the truth is far more nuanced: awakening is not the annihilation of the self, but the recognition that the self we once believed to be separate is, in fact, inseparable from the whole.

In many spiritual traditions, the ego is seen as the source of all suffering, a false identity that creates a sense of separation from life. The ego, we are told, must die for us to realize the truth of who we are. But this is a misunderstanding. The ego does not die, and it does not vanish upon awakening. Instead, it is liberated from its unconscious grip. The self, the sense of “I-ness,” evolves and transforms into something far more expansive than we ever imagined.

The Illusion of the Separate Self

The ego is not inherently evil or something to be discarded. It is the mental construct that arises when we identify with our thoughts, emotions, memories, and perceptions. It is the part of us that says, “I am this person, I have this story, I have this history.” It provides us with a sense of individuality and the ability to function in the world. Without the ego, we would have no sense of separation—no capacity to navigate the world as an individual, no sense of boundaries between self and other.

However, the problem arises when we become attached to this sense of self, when we believe that we are nothing more than the ego. This mistaken identification with the ego creates the illusion of separation, and it is this illusion that lies at the root of suffering. We get caught up in the drama of our personal story, believing that we are the sum of our thoughts, our experiences, our achievements, and our failures. This belief traps us in a narrow, limited view of who we are.

The Awakening to No-Self

The process of awakening begins when we start to see through the illusion of the separate self. In meditation, inquiry, or moments of deep presence, we begin to recognize that the “I” we cling to is not a fixed, permanent entity. It is not something we can hold onto or define. The sense of “I” is fluid, arising and passing away in each moment.

In these moments of clarity, we discover that our true nature is not the personal ego at all. Our true nature is the awareness in which the ego arises. This awareness is not personal—it is not “mine” or “yours.” It is the vast, boundless space in which all experience occurs. It is the source from which the sense of self emerges and into which it eventually dissolves.

This is the recognition of no-self—the realization that there is no separate, individual self at the center of experience. There is no “I” who is in control, no personal “me” who is the author of thoughts, actions, or desires. There is only the open, empty awareness that is aware of everything but is itself beyond everything.

This understanding is deeply liberating. It frees us from the tyranny of the ego, from the constant battle to protect, defend, and define ourselves. It allows us to experience life as it truly is—fluid, impermanent, and interconnected. In the experience of no-self, we find peace, for we are no longer fighting to maintain a sense of identity. We simply are.

The Paradox: Both Self and No-Self

Yet, here is where the paradox deepens. While the realization of no-self is liberating, it does not eliminate the self. In fact, the self continues to exist in a new form. The ego, far from vanishing, evolves. It is no longer the master of our identity, but rather it serves the awakened self. It becomes the servant of awareness.

This is where many spiritual seekers become confused. They expect that awakening means the end of the ego, but the truth is that the ego never truly disappears. It becomes transparent, no longer clouded by unconscious desires, fears, and attachments. The ego, in its natural function, continues to play a role in our survival, in our relationships, and in our creative expression. But it no longer drives the bus of our identity.

In awakening, we realize that the self we once thought of as separate is inseparable from the totality of existence. The boundaries we once thought existed between ourselves and the world begin to dissolve. There is a recognition that we are both the individual self and the vast, boundless awareness in which the self arises. We are both the wave and the ocean, both the form and the formless.

Living the Paradox

Living in the paradox of self and no-self is not about intellectualizing the concept. It is about embodying it. It is about allowing the ego to function without attachment, without the need to control, without the identification that gives rise to suffering. It is about recognizing that while the ego is not who we truly are, it is still part of the unfolding of life. The ego is not to be discarded or rejected, but understood in its rightful place.

In practice, this means allowing the ego’s natural impulses to arise—desires, fears, attachments—without identifying with them. We can notice when we feel anger, fear, or joy, but we no longer say, “I am angry,” or “I am fearful.” We recognize these experiences as passing phenomena that arise in the field of awareness. They are not the essence of who we are.

We also allow the ego’s practical functions—such as the desire for food, shelter, and connection—to continue, but without clinging to them or making them the center of our world. We live life with openness, allowing the ego to serve the awakened self without becoming entangled in it.

The Ever-Unfolding Mystery

The paradox of self and no-self is not something that can be resolved or transcended. It is the mystery of life itself—something that cannot be grasped by the mind but must be lived and experienced. In true awakening, we cease seeking an idealized, ego-less state. Instead, we embrace the truth that both the personal and the impersonal, the self and no-self, exist in harmony.

This is the ultimate freedom: the freedom to live as both an individual and as the boundless awareness in which all things arise. There is no conflict in this. The mind may try to understand it, but the heart rests in the mystery. And it is in this resting, in this acceptance, that the search for enlightenment comes to an end. The mystery is not something to be solved—it is something to be lived.

The paradox of self and no-self invites us to let go of the need to make sense of it all. It asks us to surrender to the truth of who we are, not as an individual ego, but as the whole, vast ocean of being. In this surrender, we find the deepest peace—the peace of no longer struggling against ourselves, but simply being.

Explore Amoda’s upcoming online Weekend: “Deepening into the I AM” - April 12/13

‘An exploration of the ‘I Am’ at the core of our being, and how the recognition of this “I Am” is the foundation of inner peace and unshakable presence.’