THE LOVE THAT ENDS FEAR

Question: “Does this mean that loving everything puts an end to fear?”

Yes. Love puts an end to fear.

You no longer fear your experience because it’s not outside of you, it’s not something that happens to you. It’s no longer that which torments you.

It is simply love in disguise. It is love in disguise because it offers you the invitation to open within that experience.

You come to see that every experience contains an invisible hand of openness that always extends itself to you. This openness is the ultimate fulfillment.

It’s what you are really looking for, but so often miss.

It is here both in the experience of getting what you want and in the experience of not getting what you want.

In the experience of getting what you want—you find a lover and you feel loved, you get married and feel secure, you get the qualification or the job you want and you feel recognized, you give birth to a child and feel complete—there is a subtle grip of “I got it” and “I don’t want to lose it.”

You start to wrap yourself around the object that promises eternal fulfillment.

Fear comes in because you don’t want to lose what you have . . . and you miss the invitation of openness.

In the experience of not getting what you want—your lover leaves you, your marriage falls apart, your career fails, you lose your home or your money or your child or your dog—there is a less subtle grip, the tight fist of “I don’t want this” or “This shouldn’t be happening,” and you attempt to reject it or fix it or run away from it.

Fear takes over because you can’t control life, you don’t want to feel the pain of loss . . . and you miss the invitation of openness.

The invitation is to become sensitive, to become highly attuned to where this subtle grip takes over, to notice when there is a subtle tightening—either holding on for dear life or pushing life away. In that moment of noticing, you have a choice.

It doesn’t matter when you notice, as long as there is a moment of noticing. In this moment, you have choice. It’s a choice that doesn’t come from the mind. It’s a choice that comes from the tenderness of the heart.

It’s a turning away from the circumstances of life, and a turning toward your innermost.

Excerpt from the book ‘Falling Open in a World Falling Apart.’