THE GRIEF THAT HEALS

There’s a grief that lays the heart bare, like a desert exposed to the infinite blackness of the night sky.

The initial rumblings of this grief shake the ground and loosen the walls, and we no longer can take stability for granted. A sense of vulnerability comes rushing forth, like a tsunami initially in the distance and before we know it we are swept up in its force. No time to think, no time to breathe. In an instant, life changes.

We resist, we fight to regain our ground, our sense of self. But grief is more powerful, it will have its way. Grief is the darkness that loves us to death. It forces us to surrender into the groundless way, the great unknown.

It is when we stop fighting to regain control that something tight in us breaks, and a beautiful death is possible. It is the death of certainty, the end of holding onto any idea that life should go in the direction we want it to, the end of being held by an imaginary safety net. And the beginning of a rebirth into being held by the infinite openness of our willingness to be right here in the bare bones of what is.

In being right here, raw, naked, shaken and shaking — and without coming to any conclusion — the power of grief is in its capacity to heal. In this unconditional presence, we are made whole again. Not the same as before, but deeper, softer, and yet stronger. We are deeper in the forging of our ability to taste the bittersweetness of life. We are softer in our ability to bow down to ever-changing inner and outer environments. And we are stronger in our inner resilience, our ability to weather the storm.

There is the small grief of everyday hurts. And there is the big grief of personal loss. And there’s the gigantic grief of collective breakdown. It’s all the same grief … it is the grief that shakes us apart, and then puts us together again in a new way. It is always the grief that heals.


(image by ArtTower from Pixabay)

  • This post first appeared on Facebook July 30th. I have included it here because I felt it too important to miss it. We are in difficult and turbulent waters as a collective. Our grief plays an important part of the process we are in. As Amoda says, ‘The grief that shakes us apart, and then puts us together again in a new way. It is always the grief that heals.’

    • Thank you for reading. Please share this piece if you are moved to. Kavi

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