HOW THE EGO FEEDS ITSELF
There are many ways the ego feeds itself. It's not always bombastic or aggressive or confident. Sometimes it's a "poor me" kind of strategy. But what underlines all the ways the ego feeds itself, is the need to compare itself to other manifestations of ego. "I'm different", "I'm more this and that (lucky, hardworking, insightful, creative)", "I'm more spiritual", and so on. Of course, the comparison can go the other way ... "I'm more unlucky, hard done by, unsupported, unloved, alienated" and so on.
Either way, the ego is feeding on a kind of superiority ... a "look at me" position. This is how the ego gets to create its own little island called "separation" ... I am a separate "me" and all other "me's" (that is, "you's") are either for me or against me.
Now let's get this straight. There's no such thing as an ego. It's not an organ in your brain or an entity that lives in your body or mind. It's a psychological process ... the process of comparison. When this process becomes an unconscious default setting, then it becomes "who you are" and informs all your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Self-realization or self-liberation (aka "awakening") is the end of this process. It's a stop of the compulsion to compare. Of course, this takes a deep going within to access a realm of self-honesty and self-exposure and self-observation. This is called, consciousness waking up out of the dream of separation. It happens suddenly or gradually, or both. But instead of waiting for the sudden liberation, you can hone your sword of truth by self-examination in each interaction, inside your head, and in your relationships. Can you feel the gravitational pull of comparison? Can you see how it makes you feel good to be superior for a while, and then the hungry ghost wants more. This feeding builds the tight knot of ego, pumps it up and erects a defensive stucture lest it all be brought down again.
In liberation - even for a moment - the whole edifice is obliterated. Ah, what sweet death! And now the whole of life can pour in, without limits, without conditions. This is self-realization ... you ARE the totality! And the dream and the nightmare of a ghost called ego is gone! It was never the real you anyway.
Welcome to freedom, my friend!
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