FALLING INTO THE ABYSS OF BEING
Turning inward is often scary, because it brings up the terror of death. It brings you face to face with the abyss that lies beneath the scaffolding.
The scaffolding is everything that is familiar— your beliefs, your habitual ways of seeing and experiencing life, and all the thoughts and emotions that create a sense of identity.
The abyss is what you cannot possibly know, because it’s totally unknowable by the egoic mind.
By acknowledging that your mind does not actually know the truth of who you are, who you are can be revealed.
In spiritual circles, the question “Who am I?” is central to the inquiry into the true nature of self.
However, this inquiry is often hijacked by the ego in an attempt to avoid facing the terror of death.
Instead, the ego may come up with definitions of who you are: “I am oneness,” “I am divine,” “I am everything,” or even “I am nothing.”
But who you really are is not another more spiritual, perfect, or divine form of scaffolding. Who you really are has no definition: it is an indescribable, unspeakable depth of being.
The true purpose of the question “Who am I?” is to serve as a pointer to diving into the unknownness of this unbounded moment.
It’s a question without an answer, a koan, a signpost to the edge of mind, where you are invited to take a leap.
Here you have a choice: to go running back to the relative safety of the story of “me” or to let go into the unknown.
If you let go, you open up to the possibility of total annihilation of the scaffolding that defends all your ideas and concepts about who you think you are.
It’s a free fall into the abyss of being that literally stops the mind.
In this momentary stopping, there is a shift in consciousness to a deeper dimension of being, a coming home to your true nature.
Coming home is what each of us yearns for. It’s the ultimate fulfillment, a sense of completeness, and a feeling of being totally at one with yourself and with life.
- Amoda Maa
- (From Embodied Enlightenment: Chapter 3)
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