DOES OPENNESS MEAN YOU HAVE NO HEALTHY BOUNDARIES?
When I speak about openness, many people misunderstand. I have been opposed, ridiculed, and told I am wrong about openness.
I am asked ... about personal boundaries? Doesn’t openness mean I have to always say 'yes'? And isn’t that dangerous? How do I protect myself from harm if I’m open all the time? And how can I learn to be open if I have a history of trauma and abuse?
I reply ... the openness I speak of has nothing to do with your history. It has nothing to do with whether you’ve been abused or hurt. It has nothing to do with self-protection or personal boundaries.
Friends, please do not misunderstand ... the openness I speak of is beyond all that. It is beneath all that. It is more ever-present than all that. The openness I speak of has no opposite ... it cannot close. It is the space within which you - and the story of your life - appears and disappears. It is the open awareness that holds it all. It is awareness itself. This awareness is always here, it cannot come and go. It can either be recognized and free you from fear, or remain unrecognized and keep you enslaved to the false authority of ego’s narratives ... and that is up to you.
So, is it safe to say 'yes'? Even though you feel shaky, you feel vulnerable, you feel raw and tender, you feel unsafe because you learnt that saying 'yes' could hurt? Yes, it is safe to say 'yes' ... when you feel a 'yes' in your belly (even though the mind is tainted by a bad memory).
And is it safe to say 'no'? Even though you learnt that saying 'no' got you into trouble, and now you feel bad about yourself when you say 'no', as if you’ve transgressed a boundary and will be punished? Yes, it is safe to say 'no' ... when you feel a 'no' in your belly (even though the heart trembles).
You see, saying 'yes' and saying 'no' is your birthright as a human being. Wholesome personal boundaries are a necessity in a world of 7 billion individuations. There’s a sword of personal truth that must be wielded as you navigate this earthly dimension. Without this you are subject to the unconsciousness of others and you are subject to the vicissitudes of the world.
And yet, the openness of your essential nature as awareness underpins it all and is untouched by your 'yes' and your 'no'. This open awareness is the foundation of you and from this place arises right action ... sometimes it is a 'yes', sometimes it is a 'no', and both arise out of the open sky of awareness.
You are - and always were - that open awareness. All you have to do is recognize that. And this recognition is freedom in all circumstances.
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