DO RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE AFTER AWAKENING?
I was recently asked: "How have relationships changed since you awakened in 2002?" Words failed me for a while, as I stumbled to remember what it was like prior to that "fatal" year of collision with the infinite. And then it came to me ... I never knew what real love is, I only knew love as a sense of feeling lovable when the other gave me attention or told me I was good or beautiful or perfect. A tiny sliver of love's distortion is all I knew. I was like a starving beggar, looking for that which was already here an yet so obscured by my victim identity, my distorted sense of self so separate from that which I already am.
And then I died into eternity and the distortion was revealed to be a dream, not real and yet so real when I was dreaming it. The whole edifice of relationship as a provider of love came apart. And the whole edifice of "me" as a separate entity came undone. There was nothing outside of me and nothing inside me, it was all one infinite being-ness. And the fragrance of this being-ness was Love. I am that Love, and all is Love.
All need, all control, all manipulation, all bartering, all begging for love came to an end. There is no more need for relationship to fulfill me, to make me happy, to give me anything that I am not already. And when another enters this field of wholeness, there are simply two forms dancing in eternity. It is one being-ness expressing itself as two, and in this no harm can be done, no lie can be told, no defending or attacking can be played out, no possession or power battle can take place. There is no need to improve the relationship or work on relationship issues, because in truth there is only one being and that being knows its true nature and is free from the problems of identity based on separation.
It's a gentle river that sometimes flows with intensity, it's a causeless joy that bubbles quietly, it's the grit and the grace of the human journey and the knowing of its impermanence. And the knowing of the infinity that holds it all.
Amoda Maa