CALL OFF THE SEARCH
I often speak of the "seeking mechanism" that keeps us on a trajectory of looking for fulfillment in a future moment.
When applied to the spiritual path, to the genuine desire for self-realization or liberation from ego-identity, the seeking mechanism can keep us on a treadmill of always looking for something "up ahead". Somehow freedom is never here now. The more I meditate or progress in my spiritual practice, the closer I get to the holy grail of enlightenment ... but somehow it's never here now. The seeking mechanism keeps us filling the spiritual shopping basket and making us feel temporarily satisfied ... but it's never enough and the subtle suffering of always seeking something keeps going on.
To become aware of this subtle grasping for a future fulfillment is to become aware of the agitation that drives the ego-self ... the sense that there is a "me" that needs to "get somewhere" or "become more of something". It is this "self" that creates a deep-seated existential anxiety and a clinging to the dream-state of "my life".
To call off the search is to "undo" the sense of a separate self. It kick starts the journey of relaxing into the present moment, and this is like a death to the ego-self. In the present moment, there is nothing to stand on, nothing to grasp, nothing to strive for ... because this present eternal moment is totally fulfilled as itself.
But we must not throw out the baby with the bathwater! To call off the search is not to totally abandon the deepest longing to come home to your true nature as being-ness. It is not to become lazy and turn away from the gentle vigilance required to rest in the eternal now. It is not to take on the mantle of freedom by no longer listening to the innermost call to genuinely know freedom by living from the unknown.
To call off the search is to bring clear-seeing of the ego's addiction to craving (hope) and aversion (fear). To listen to the innermost call to come home is to turn towards the fire of truth. Always, without concern for the outcome.
May you listen to the deepest calling in you. May you come home and be free.
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